Seven reasons information security causes global warming

In keeping with the divorce and everything capitalist or conservative causes "global warming" theory, how about this:

Information security causes global warming.

Here's why:

1. The need for security controls is a negative side-effect of capitalism - man bettering himself if you will. If we didn't have computers and the Internet, the advancement of mankind, and greedy corporations trying to make profits, this wouldn't be a problem.
2. Security policies are often distributed to employees in hard copy which requires cutting down trees which requires manufacturing, and more jobs, and more people commuting to work, and fuel usage for shipment....
3. Information security clauses lengthen business contracts contributing to the same paper manufacturing and delivery problems as above.
4. Firewalls, IPSs, and anti-virus software require manufacturing, and more jobs, and, well, you get my drift.
5. Added security controls require more power and space in data centers thus impeding the green data center movement we seeing a lot of.
6. When malicious hackers' and rogue insiders' attacks are blocked by our non-environmentally-friendly security controls, it hurts their feelings and makes them feel less about themselves and their jobs which leads to lower productivity at work which leads to more snack and smoke breaks which lead to overflowing landfills and increased carbon dioxide in the sky.
   
   And finally...
   
   
7. Managers and executives now have a valid excuse for not buying into information security...How could anyone in their right mind possibly support anything that causes "global warming" anyway..??
   

I know, I know, my logic is flawed, but so is the logic and the facts behind the religion of "global warming". If it were only this easy to push information security initiatives in an emotional fashion in the name of something that has no basis in fact and without having to present the real side of the story. We'd be gagillionaires!

'Nuff said - I just had to get this off my chest. Now, I've got to go figure out how I'm going to offset my big SUV's "carbon emissions" for 2008. We're in a crisis you know... ;-)

Until later...